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(applause) look, america, america, look at me. our elections do not need to take as long as they currently do. there is another way. and the proof of that have is right under your feet-- through several layers across the mud, australia. >> prime minister kevin rudd has put an end to weeks of speculation, he's called an election for september 7. >> john: the whole election season is just one month long. four weeks! that's like only three new iphones from now! (laughter) you know what that means? we need to launch our full coverage of down-under-cision 2013. (laughter) (as an australian) that's not a campaign, this is a campaign! brought to you by koalas. koalas, like if teddy bears were alive and surprisingly aggressive. koalas. australia might have something to teach us when it comes to democracy starting with this: >> in australia, they have a compulsory voting system so everyone is required to register to vote and to turn out to vote and if they don't they're fined. >> that's right, it's illegal not to vote there. they spend a h
(applause) look, america, america, look at me. our elections do not need to take as long as they currently do. there is another way. and the proof of that have is right under your feet-- through several layers across the mud, australia. >> prime minister kevin rudd has put an end to weeks of speculation, he's called an election for september 7. >> john: the whole election season is just one month long. four weeks! that's like only three new iphones from now! (laughter) you know what...
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Aug 15, 2013
08/13
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[all cheering] - ♪ america is back ♪ america is back - wait, according to that scale, i still have a small wiener! - ♪ america is back - i'm still [bleep] angry! - ♪ back and we're back and we're back ♪ ♪ we're so back, we're so back ♪ ♪ back back back back back ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [ cheers and applause ] >> john: welcome to the daily show. [ cheers and applause ] my name is john oliver. i am still sitting in for jon stewart who has been spending the entire summer at training camp with the new york giants. apparently he's extremely happy and in almost constant pain. our guest tonight tv legend and host of the new show crowd goes wild on fox 1 regis philbin is here. [ cheers and applause ] oh, yes, indeed. we start tonight with the news media. now, personally i get all my news from jon stewart and the daily show. which is why i have absolutely no idea what's been happening this summer. but apparently some people get their current affairs from newspaper
[all cheering] - ♪ america is back ♪ america is back - wait, according to that scale, i still have a small wiener! - ♪ america is back - i'm still [bleep] angry! - ♪ back and we're back and we're back ♪ ♪ we're so back, we're so back ♪ ♪ back back back back back ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [ cheers and applause ] >> john: welcome to the daily show. [ cheers...
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Aug 21, 2013
08/13
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i don't think even michael davis and the pretty blonde is going to be able to sell cricket to america. >> you never heard of gorgey thompson. >> john: i do. she knows you and i've been asking her about you. >> john: whoa! after the show we'll talk. john: she's fantastic. she was on the news for years. >> ten years. john: good luck selling cricket. >> do you play cricket. john: you know what? everything in britain is class based. so cricket is for posh people. >> really? john: that's not for the likes of me. i know i sound like it. >> what sport did you play as a kid growing up. >> john: soccer. religiously. >> it's a big deal. it's getting bigger and bigger in america. >> john: i want to be a soccer player more than anything else. this was very much plan-b. >> how in the world did this happen? you wanted to play soccer and here you are. >> john: it was a complete lack of physical ability. and that's all. >> you couldn't kick the ball. john: are you a frustrated athlete as well? >> i used to play in bronx park. john: play what? baseball. john: classic. a little football. yeah, sure. >>
i don't think even michael davis and the pretty blonde is going to be able to sell cricket to america. >> you never heard of gorgey thompson. >> john: i do. she knows you and i've been asking her about you. >> john: whoa! after the show we'll talk. john: she's fantastic. she was on the news for years. >> ten years. john: good luck selling cricket. >> do you play cricket. john: you know what? everything in britain is class based. so cricket is for posh people....
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let's talk about race in america. >> talk about it too much. you think race is talked about too much. >> it is. the fact that we keep talking about the problem exacerbates the problem. >> perfect. let's not talk about race at all. >> the black people talk about race all the time. it's something we have to deal with all the time. >> white privilege affects every aspect of your life. >> my white privilege? it's part of your identity. it's at the intersection of a lot of different things. >> part of the privilege of being white is you don't have to feel uncomfortable just existing and thinking a police officer is going to profile you for what you look like. >> hot in here. this is not necessarily just a black issue. >> you see latinos and arabs being persecuted because of the color of their skin. >> if the name was rasawn williams they would lock this. .. >> this is called... a condition that causes me to sweat when i think things are going great. >> it is a tiny bit hard to have this conversation. >> why bring it up if if it's not a problem with
let's talk about race in america. >> talk about it too much. you think race is talked about too much. >> it is. the fact that we keep talking about the problem exacerbates the problem. >> perfect. let's not talk about race at all. >> the black people talk about race all the time. it's something we have to deal with all the time. >> white privilege affects every aspect of your life. >> my white privilege? it's part of your identity. it's at the intersection of...
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but i would like to do the fast food workers of america a favor right now. you see these faces next to me, all these people have been saying terrible things about you. so i want you to remember these faces. and if any of these people happen to come into your restaurant, i'm not say shall did -- i'm not saying you should give them the special sauce, i'm just saying i think it's pretty clear they deserve telephone. we'll be right back?ç?çwóóooo?oo dtwc >> welcome back. there has been disspiriting news of the intractable war in sir ya, the collapse of egyptian democracy and the decision to extend under the dome from a miniseries to a full-fledged series. they're under a dome. they're going to run out of supplies. they're under a dome. the premise is not sustainable. they're in a dome. but at least this summer does have one thing over this time last year. there is not an election going on. >> there could be the first shots fired in the battle for 2016. >> ready for 2016. >> the war of words between governor chris christie and senator rand paul. >> first if s
but i would like to do the fast food workers of america a favor right now. you see these faces next to me, all these people have been saying terrible things about you. so i want you to remember these faces. and if any of these people happen to come into your restaurant, i'm not say shall did -- i'm not saying you should give them the special sauce, i'm just saying i think it's pretty clear they deserve telephone. we'll be right back?ç?çwóóooo?oo dtwc >> welcome back. there has been...
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i am still in for jon stewart who is scourge competing to be america's next top model. oh, no, they voted him out! they voted him-- don't listen to them, jon. you're beautiful on the inside! and there is no shame being more catalog than editorial. that's a fact. my guest tonight the writer, director, and staffer a very funny new movie "in a world" lake bell will be here. very good, very good. but we begin tonight with breaking news. >> the big chill between the u.s. and russia may be heading for the deep freeze. president obama has officially canceled his one-on-one meeting with vladimir putin. >> john: canceled? wow, that's a big diplomatic slap in the face, a dip move, if you will. ( laughter ) although if the president really wanted to hurt putin he would have said he was coming and just stood him up. trust me, that hurts a lot more. or if you wanted to be more passive aggressive the president could have said let's meet somewhere that's not technically in russia like, i don't know, moscow airport. ( cheers and applause ) look, we all know-- we all know why this meeti
i am still in for jon stewart who is scourge competing to be america's next top model. oh, no, they voted him out! they voted him-- don't listen to them, jon. you're beautiful on the inside! and there is no shame being more catalog than editorial. that's a fact. my guest tonight the writer, director, and staffer a very funny new movie "in a world" lake bell will be here. very good, very good. but we begin tonight with breaking news. >> the big chill between the u.s. and russia...
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is there nothing else that led america to this. >> president obama is cancelling his meeting with russia's president putin over tensions becausest n.s.a. leaker edward snowden. >> john: yes, that is clearly the only reason. it's-- it's always a good idea to pad out with what you really want to say with self-righteous human rights stuff like, "kimberly, we need a break. i don't like your stance on chine and tibetan monks and your boobs are weirding me out." if we want snowden back all we need to do is convince vladimir putin that snowden is gay. that away wayhe'llob a plane into u.s. custody faster than a definitely not homoerotic team of elastic clad men. that quick. actually, russia is not only global leadership story we're dealing with tonight which brins us to our new segment... indeed. now, we've already dealt with russia, so let's see where our magical dploab will take us next egypt! egypt. i just lift egypt. i'm not-- i'm not used to guns. ( laughter ) as the situation in egypt continues to devolve, the u.s. like a polar bear on a hastily melting glackier is trying to act like everyt
is there nothing else that led america to this. >> president obama is cancelling his meeting with russia's president putin over tensions becausest n.s.a. leaker edward snowden. >> john: yes, that is clearly the only reason. it's-- it's always a good idea to pad out with what you really want to say with self-righteous human rights stuff like, "kimberly, we need a break. i don't like your stance on chine and tibetan monks and your boobs are weirding me out." if we want...
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. >> john: porn and politics are america's last remaining boom industries, and as you saw from the second act, they're basically fused with weiner and this other guy. it's hard to overstate just how successful "deep throat" was for a movie. >> it made an unbelievable amount of money. i guess then came "debbie does dallas" and "beyond the green door." and poor linda lovelace never saw a penny. >> john: oh, what a surprise. >> i know. >> john: what a shock-- a woman in porn did not see lots of money on the backend. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> careful how you use the term "backend." >> john: i was halfway through that sentence thinking, "i know this end badly." >> has a different meaning in porn. but today, they-- i don't been backend, but they do-- they get highly paid. >> john: right. >> they make a nice living. >> john: the clever thing about this movie it's the same story told twice. you get the glammuous version of it for the first half of the film when it is funny, in which are you appear and the second half you get the reality of what you've just seen, which was appalling. >> horribl
. >> john: porn and politics are america's last remaining boom industries, and as you saw from the second act, they're basically fused with weiner and this other guy. it's hard to overstate just how successful "deep throat" was for a movie. >> it made an unbelievable amount of money. i guess then came "debbie does dallas" and "beyond the green door." and poor linda lovelace never saw a penny. >> john: oh, what a surprise. >> i know. >>...